Adoption Series 2015- Dropping the Step & Always Feeling Just A Parent – Michelle’s Story

When I was contacted by Michelle to participate in the series this year I didn’t hesitate at all to say yes! There are a couple reasons, I’ve experienced my own close relationship with a step-parent.  The other is that my oldest daughter was loved by a young man from the day she was born that didn’t share her DNA.  I eventually married him and he adopted the little girl that had his heart from even before she was born.  Michelle and I attended high school together and I am so happy to share this story.  

Adoption comes in many forms and love can be felt between a parent and child without being carried in the womb or sharing of DNA.  Just as I have, Michelle has experienced loving her children.  The ones that she carried and the ones that she did not in the same manner.

Michelle met her son’s father while in high school, he was older and graduated before she did.  They dated about year though.  During that time they had actually discussed children and what they would name them.  She mentioned that Anthony Michael would be her boy’s name of choice.  Little did she know that the future would hold just that for her, a son named Anthony.

Time had passed and Michelle was busy with college.  One day her mother let her know that someone had left a note on a vehicle at their home for her.  To her surprise it was from R, which she had not spoken to in three years!  In that time R had been married, had a child, and divorced.  Michelle and R began dating not long after and she found herself not only in love with R but that beautiful 18 month old boy Anthony Michael.  

The relationship grew, R and Michelle married.  Michelle took the role as mother quite seriously.  Not only because Anthony’s biological mother didn’t visit him hardly at all, but because it was meant to be.  It tore Michelle apart everyday, as she couldn’t understand how someone wouldn’t participate in their own flesh and blood’s life.  She knew that God had a plan though.

Michelle felt like his mother, she cared for him like a mother would, but she wasn’t legally able to take him to the doctor or sign forms or do any of the legal things a mother does.  The bond grew between them and around age 4 Anthony started asking why Michelle couldn’t adopt him.

It had been two years since his biological mother had been in contact or seen him.  So Michelle and R started to discuss adoption with the biological mother.  Unfortunately she was not willing to allow Michelle to adopt Anthony.  Michelle stated she was devastated.  She found herself wondering if something happened to R, would she lose her son.  Anthony in all forms except legal was her son.  He was hers but she had no rights.
Confusion and worry were present often during this time.

At the age of 5, Anthony’s father decided to try one more time to make some headway with the biological mother.  He knew how much it was tearing Michelle up.  This time, ten days later, they received a letter stating that Michelle could adopt Anthony!  Michelle was overjoyed that this precious child would be hers!

They contacted their attorney and forty-five days after receiving that letter Anthony Michael became Michelle’s son (legally). She looks back on everything now and is so thankful to God for allowing her to be Anthony’s mom.  She told me HE chose me to raise Anthony and love him.

That is good stuff right there folks!  Thank you Michelle for sharing your adoption story with us!  It’s inspiring and shows what a loving person you are! 

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