As I sat upon the porch swing on this particular humid morning I found myself depleted. Yet with each stitch placed into the fabric of my latest embroidery project I found myself speaking. I wasn’t speaking out loud but in my mind. After a few moments I realized in my lower moment I was praying to God.
A different prayer as I inserted the needle in and came back up. Similar to the act of embroidery, life is a journey of going down and then coming back up. I feel as though I’ve been in the down for a year now. The attempts to come back up have been short-lived and I find myself either sad, mad, or tired. Unable to move from the current uncomfortable-ness of life.
As I laid in bed I felt so exhausted that as I spoke to God in prayer I fell asleep. But before I did I realized I was actually praying a heartfelt prayer. It’d been sometime since I had visited with him with true authenticity. Is this a beginning? One of finally looking at the truth. It’s not that God hasn’t been here, He’s been here the entire time. It’s not that I’ve been mad at him either. It’s that I’ve just been wanting to hide, which in reality is stupid because He can see me. The raw, the beautiful, the sadden, the child, the woman, the mother, the wife, the friend, the whatever I am.
These moments happened in my life in the past couple days. This post isn’t full of encouragement or a bright sunshiny moment at the end. It is just a post about a girl who found some sunshine in the midst of her daily life.
Grace is a gift,